Troy Does Not Exist

There’s nothing more breathtakingly frustrating than modern technology. When something that in your foolish innocence you assumed would be a simple task turns into a battle of Woman Vs Machine. I’ve just had this experience, rather unexpectedly, and I’ve utterly lost the fight.

I’m writing some descriptions of Turkish holiday resorts for work at the moment and I thought – stupidly as it turns out – that I’d look up how close a particular destination was to the ancient ruins of Troy so I could put in a Fact. Usually this sort of thing is a very minor bit of effort – I use the Get Directions thing to find out how far X is away from Y and then away I go. But this time, despite the map being centred on a resort in North West Turkey, when I typed in ‘Troy’ it whisked me off to some small and unimportant-looking place called Troy in America. And this kept happening. I almost wept with frustration, as I just couldn’t believe that it wouldn’t be marked properly – it’s Troy, for God’s sake.

It doesn’t help that Troy is called half a dozen different names in Turkey, but really, it is appalling that Google Maps doesn’t show the site of this ancient city, given its importance in world literature. It’s a staggering example of the American ego at work: they carefully label all the American towns called Troy, but not their namesake. I tried to advise GM of this omission but got lost and even more frustrated within their Byzantine (pun intended) complaints system so gave up, as I think was their intention.

Theoretically I know Troy is tucked away somewhere to the south of Canakkale, but other than that, you’re on your own.

– Ha! I just finished writing and did a quick search for images of Troy to illustrate this post. And what do you get when you google-image the word ‘troy’? Pages of bloody Brad Pitt.

There is something colossally wrong with the world.

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